Browsing articles tagged with " nonsense"

Goldman Sachs Loves David Walker

Mar 8, 2012
J. Webster
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While Morgan Stanley is feeling the pain from all this brothel talk, over at Goldman Sachs, they're laughing their asses off. Lloyd Blankfein spit out his coffee when he heard the news about the Morgan Stanley broker and the madam. Said broker, David Walker, says he was just "friends" with the “Upper East Side madam” Anna Gristina, but he's been put on administrative leave from Morgan Stanley until things are more clear on his exact role. Meanwhile, over at Goldman Sachs, they're putting up posters of the man in the hallways to honor him. It's been said that

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Donations Cup Going Around So Trader Can Judge Wet T-Shirt Contest

Feb 29, 2012
J. Webster
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With the big drop in Wall Street bonuses this year, many traders are suffering. Even canceling trips to Mardi Gras to judge wet t-shirt contests, for instance. Yes, it's quite sad to hear this news. So, it seems there's a cup going around to raise money so one trader can fulfill his dream of being a judge in a wet t-shirt contest down in New Orleans. Have a heart, drop some coins in the cup so this trader can rate some boobies down in the Big Easy. Doesn't matter how much you can afford to give, it all adds

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CNBC’s New Show “Investor Giants Play Poker at a Strip Club”

Feb 26, 2012
J. Webster
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To counter Bloomberg's new show, "Titans at the Table", hosted by Betty Liu, CNBC is set to launch a new show called "Investor Giants Play Poker at a Strip Club", hosted by Jim Cramer. The angle, if not obvious, is that while Bloomgerg's show gives you an inside look at some top hedge fund managers in a more casual setting (as they shove food in their mouths), CNBC wants to go right to the jugular and show hedge fund gurus in a more realistic setting, one that tests their discipline and patience. And to make the

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Top Ten Reasons You Should NOT Buy Shares of Apple

Feb 11, 2012
J. Webster
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So, everyone and their uncle loves Apple's stock these days and more or less says it's never going to go down. Oh, Apple is sooooooo wonderful and soooooo great. They make such beeeeaaaautiful products. They're computers are so sharp and intuitive and so cleeeeean and so cooooool. Each week Apple's stock hits a new high and they're market capitalization grows bigger than such and such country or such and such combination of companies. And then there are people saying the stock is going to $1,000 a share. Craziness. And then there's the new iTV and the new iPad 3

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Facebook Started as Facemash

Feb 2, 2012
J. Webster
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It's incredible that Facebook, now set for an IPO and potential market capitalization of $100 billion, all started with Zuckerberg stealing photos of girls at Harvard to start a little copy cat site called Facemash. This Mark Zuckerberg quote was left out of the IPO filing for some reason: "To think this all started with rating bitches on Facemash." This from Wikipedia, "Facemash used photos compiled from the online facebooks of nine Houses, placing two next to each other at a time and asking users to choose the 'hotter' person. To accomplish this, Zuckerberg hacked into the protected areas of

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Todd Palin Says Buy RIMM

Jan 11, 2012
J. Webster
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Yeah, I've decided to make some stock picks this year. First up, I'm going to endorse Research in Motion (RIMM) as a strong buy. It's a good stock to own right now. It's been kicked around and has now battled back a little bit. I respect that in a stock. Yes, I actually have a Blackberry believe it or not. I use if for emailing my wife. And I'm going to buy one of those Blackberry PlayBooks for my daughter. I'm buying RIMM because someone is going to buy this company. It's too cheap. Oh, I think Microsoft could easily come

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Leaked Tearful Plea From Jamie Dimon’s Upcoming Conference Call

Jan 8, 2012
J. Webster
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Those who were there, in the room, say a single tear fell down the side of Jamie Dimon's cheek as he rehearsed for JP Morgan's upcoming conference call, practicing what he would say to the financial world:
"I ask you to stop the hate. I just can't take it anymore. I am not a bad person. Yes, I'm rich but I've worked hard to get where I am. I'm just a banker trying to do good. To loan money. To create jobs. To help our shareholders. To help America become great again. To build the best bank in the

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Jaime Dimon Tired of Being Ganged Up On

Dec 26, 2011
J. Webster
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I'm tired of everyone ganging up on me. It's not fair. What did I do wrong? And I thought they weren't letting any journalist into this investors conference, it was only for the truly rich. Just because I built up the best bank in the world, and stand up for it when poor people attack it, people write and say bad things about me. They're just jealous. Who the hell is Josh Brown anyway? What if I wasn't there to save Bear Stearns and Washington Mutual? It's like people forget about those days so quickly.

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Tim Tebow to the Rescue

Dec 17, 2011
J. Webster
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Tim Tebow has had an amazing run so far this year for the Denver Broncos. And while I love how he miraculously leads the Broncos to victory in the final minutes of the game, I'm starting to get tired of seeing him point up to the sky to thank the Lord Jesus for the win after each game. We get it already. However, there are some companies who want to ride the Tim Tebow wave of popularity and need some kind of miracle to turn their companies around. I'm hearing that Research in Motion, Green Mountain Coffee, Diamond Foods,

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Breaking: The Inevitable Jamie Dimon Rant About How Stress Test For JP Morgan is Unnecessary

Nov 22, 2011
J. Webster
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CNBC alerts us to the Federal Reserve plans to stress test the six large U.S. banks against a hypothetical market shock, including a deterioration of the European debt crisis. Below is the inevitable Jamie Dimon quote on how JP Morgan doesn't need to do a stress test and how he's tried of being lumped together with all these other crummy banks:
"Why in the hell do we have to go through a stress test. JP Morgan is the best bank in the world. We don't need to raise any capital. We are prepared for any kind of European crisis.

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