Browsing articles tagged with " nonsense"

Tom Cruise’s Presentation at Wal-Mart Shareholders Meeting

Jun 7, 2013
J. Webster
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If you're a Wal-Mart employee or shareholder, would you rather receive a bonus check or have Tom Cruise speak at the shareholder meeting? Well, looks like they had no choice and Cruise blew away those who attended the meeting with this speech: Turns out Cruise wasn't paid for his appearance/performance after all:
"In one of the odder moments, Tom Cruise, looking dashing in a sharp suit and tie, took the stage not to entertain, but to rehash Wal-Mart talking points about sustainability and promoting women. (Mr. Cruise, like the other celebrities, were not paid for their appearances.)

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Future Tweets From Warren Buffett

May 21, 2013
J. Webster
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So, yeah, Warren Buffett's on Twitter now, getting like a half a million followers in a matter of days. Here are some tweets those followers can look forward to seeing in their Twitter streams. Yes, Buffett will tweet all these things listed below in the coming months.
  • Just downed another Diet Coke, my tenth of the day. cc @DietCoke
  • Hey, @GoldmanSachs or @BofA_Help, if you need to borrow any more DINERO just holler at me.
  • I'm going to take a bath....cc @beckyquickcnbc and or @BettyInTheLoop
  • @BillGates Are you sure you want to play another game of Bridge? I don't want to

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Do You Know Where Your Money Is?

Apr 26, 2013
J. Webster
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Yes, Maria Bartiromo, I do know where my money is. There's a handful of change somewhere between the couch cushions, there are some pennies and dimes in the cup holder in my car, and there's a pile of quarters on my desk in a glass bowl!!!! Ok, stop already, please. Everyday it's the same old thing. Where's your money. Do you know where your money is. I told you. You want me to be serious. Really? Ok. Here you go Maria. There's about $15K in my savings account, believe it or not I save a little money every

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Demi Moore Says She’s Been Buying Stocks, Too

Mar 17, 2013
J. Webster
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In a fit of rage, Demi Moore says she's been buying stocks too, way before Mila Kunis. Not wanting to be out done by Ashton Kutcher's new girlfriend, who received a lot of attention this past week when she told CNBC she was buying stocks, Moore made clear she knows a thing or two about investing in stocks herself. "I don't know if Mila Kunis knows this or not, but I was married to Ashton Kutcher for over 7 years," Moore said between Red Bull gulps. And so, like, yeah, he gave me some stock tips too. So yeah,

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Unique Online Stock Broker Tools

Oct 29, 2012
J. Webster
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There are a wide range of online brokers to choose from, so it's tough to decide which broker to go with. What research tools do they offer? Should I go the broker that offers the cheapest price per trade? Should I go with the broker that gives you the most money to buy stocks on margin? Should I go with the broker with the best interface and user experience? But what about those unique factors that set online brokers apart, some you might be unaware of that make them special....what about brokers that offer you those extra incentives and

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Future News: Apple To Cut All Retail Employees in 2018

Jun 23, 2012
J. Webster
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With a potential savings of close to $1 billion per year, Apple is going to dismiss all their Apple store employees in 2018. Sound crazy? Not really. They’re just going to replace paid employees with an army of Apple fanboys and girls who will work for nada, zilch, absolutely nothing. Not that Apple’s paying their current employees all that much now. Executives at the firm believe these paid employees, while incredibly valuable and important at a certain period in time for the company, have become superfluous. Nowadays, Apple is so beloved it doesn’t need paid employees at their stores. Instead, a

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FACEBOOK IS HIRING!!!

Jun 1, 2012
J. Webster
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Duties: Facebook is seeking individuals male or female of any age to post pics, write status updates, like news stories, find old friends from high school, post links to products, like consumer brands they like, play mindless games, and just generally become addicted to staying on Facebook all day long emailing and chit chatting with with friends. Qualifications: A computer or a smart phone is helpful but there are plenty of public libraries that have computers you can use. Although you'll have to get to the library early so you can grab a computer and reserve it for the day.

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How Mark Zuckerberg Will Celebrate Facebook’s IPO

May 16, 2012
J. Webster
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After Facebook goes public, Mark Zuckerberg will be a rich young man, with a net worth of around $17.5 billion. Yes, he was very smart not to sell Facebook to Yahoo four or five years ago for that $1 billion price tag. Well, like anyone who’s struck it rich, Zuckerberg will want to celebrate the occasion in a special way. Here are some potential ways Zuck will celebrate when Facebook's stock hits the market:
  • Go outside for a little while and get a way from the computer.
  • Head back to the old house at Stanford and jump off the roof into

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Jamie Dimon’s Diary

May 14, 2012
J. Webster
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Getty Images Scene: Jamie Dimon at his desk writing in his diary. There's a mirror over the desk that he looks up at from time to time. Date: 5/10/12 Today was a tough day, but it wasn't your fault. Yes, you knew about the hedged bet...it was said to be under control. No, you are not like Jon Corzine. Stop saying that. You're nothing like Corzine. Stop beating yourself up. JP Morgan is still a bank with a fortress balance sheet. Never forget that. Sure, $2 billion is a lot of money but just look at what you've done over the last three

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What You’re Missing at the Facebook IPO Roadshow

May 7, 2012
J. Webster
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Yes, Facebook is going public and they're trying to promote their IPO to all the investment bankers from California to New York. Everyone wants to get a glimpse of what's going on inside the IPO roadshow. Everyone wants to see and hear what Mark and Sheryl and that other guy are saying and wearing and doing. Is Mark wearing that hoodie? That little devil. He didn't wear it did he...? You're kidding...he did! But the doors are shut. Not everyone has a ticket to get in. It's not like Facebook where everyone can join and post pictures and build a

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