Jamie Dimon’s Belt Buckle

Jamie Dimon, the CEO of JP Morgan Chase, with the "fortress balance sheet", is wearing quite the belt buckle on Fox Business channel. Despite JP Morgan losing billions of dollars in the London Whale fiasco, and being ordered to fix "capital planning" issues found during the latest the stress test, Dimon doesn't seem to lose his confidence.

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Tagged fox business, jamie dimon, jp morgan, stress test

The Decision: Cliched Metaphor Picked By Jamie Dimon to Describe Trading Loss

In the weeks leading up to the JP Morgan conference call, Jamie Dimon met with this team in a secret location to "hammer out" what phrase they should use to describe the London Whale trade and the resulting loss of $5.8 billion over two quarters. The team met late into the night in a secret New York office until it final hit Jamie Dimon that the best phrase was, "shot ourselves in the foot". The phrase was chosen with the utmost of care, as Jamie Dimon's previous reference to the trade as a "tempest in a teapot" showed

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Tagged jamie dimon, jp morgan, jpm, shot ourselves in the foot

Jim Cramer Calls Jamie Dimon a Loser

I get the feeling Jamie Dimon doesn't mind all the attention. See his smile and little dance number for the cameras towards the end of the video. I wonder if he was singing the lyrics to that Beck song:

"Soy un perdedor/I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?"

That said, Jim Cramer made it clear that he thinks Jamie Dimon is a loser despite the fact that he "performed" well in front of the Senate Banking Committee. Dimon was cool and calm and didn't make any statements that would bring more negative attention to JP Morgan. However, Cramer

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Tagged jamie dimon, jim cramer, jp morgan, loser

Ben Bernanke’s Diary

Reuters Pictures It's about time that arrogant son of a bitch Jamie Dimon got some comeuppance. To think he called me out at my own meeting, asking about removing some regulations, saying, "has anyone bothered to study the cumulative effect of these things." That's a laugh, especially when he doesn't even know what's going on at his own bank. Tempest in a teapot. That's hilarious. I'm happy to see his hair turn whiter and whiter everyday. Just look at my beard and you can see how I suffered through the financial crisis. Dimon strolled around here like he's mister

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Tagged Ben Bernanke, can't breathe, diary, jamie dimon

Jamie Dimon’s Diary

Getty Images Scene: Jamie Dimon at his desk writing in his diary. There's a mirror over the desk that he looks up at from time to time. Date: 5/10/12 Today was a tough day, but it wasn't your fault. Yes, you knew about the hedged bet...it was said to be under control. No, you are not like Jon Corzine. Stop saying that. You're nothing like Corzine. Stop beating yourself up. JP Morgan is still a bank with a fortress balance sheet. Never forget that. Sure, $2 billion is a lot of money but just look at what you've done over the last three

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Tagged diary, fortress balance sheet, jamie dimon, jp morgan, nonsense, tempest in a tea pot

Pompous Quotes from Jamie Dimon

Reuters Pictures In light of the "hedged" trading loss of $2 billion, it's fun to look back on JP Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon's quotes from the past few years. The once praised and bowed down to banker doesn't seems so bullet proof anymore. What's more, these quotes come across as actually quite pompous. Really, it's hard not to laugh the words that come out of Jamie Dimon's mouth. The first one nobody's going to forget.

"It's a complete tempest in a teapot." "I have a great fear someone's going to try to write a book in 20 years, and the book

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Tagged jamie dimon, jp morgan chase, pompous, quotes, tempest in a tea pot

Cramer Says Jamie Dimon Should Give Up His Bonus

At the end of Jim Cramer's Mad Money show on CNBC, he weighed in on the JP Morgan $2 billion "hedged" trading loss. Cramer said talk his cheap and Dimon should take some action, put some money where is mouth is, as in give up his bonus.

In his "No Huddle Offense" segment, Cramer sounded off on the JPMorgan Chase (JPM_) bad-trade debacle, as his charitable trust, Action Alerts PLUS, is in the unfortunate position of holding shares of the ill-fated investment bank. Cramer said he can't blame CEO Jamie Dimon, but it's his job to be more skeptical. He admitted that his trust

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Tagged cramer, give up bonus, jamie dimon, jp morgan

Jamie Dimon’s Fortress Balance Sheet

JP Morgan, the so called greatest bank in the world, with the greatest banker in the world at the helm, Jamie Dimon, could face $3 billion in trading loses due to poor risk management. Dimon says an incident like this is why you have a "fortress balance sheet." Well, a couple more of these "incidents" and that "fortress balance sheet" will start to fall apart. Here's the news from the Wall Street Journal:

J.P. Morgan Chase & Co., the nation’s largest bank, surprised the market today, saying it has taken large losses stemming from derivatives bets gone wrong in

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Tagged fortress balance sheet, jamie dimon, jp morgan

Leaked Tearful Plea From Jamie Dimon’s Upcoming Conference Call

Those who were there, in the room, say a single tear fell down the side of Jamie Dimon's cheek as he rehearsed for JP Morgan's upcoming conference call, practicing what he would say to the financial world:

"I ask you to stop the hate. I just can't take it anymore. I am not a bad person. Yes, I'm rich but I've worked hard to get where I am. I'm just a banker trying to do good. To loan money. To create jobs. To help our shareholders. To help America become great again. To build the best bank in the

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Tagged bullying bankers, jamie dimon, jp morgan, nonsense, tears

Jaime Dimon Tired of Being Ganged Up On

I'm tired of everyone ganging up on me. It's not fair. What did I do wrong? And I thought they weren't letting any journalist into this investors conference, it was only for the truly rich. Just because I built up the best bank in the world, and stand up for it when poor people attack it, people write and say bad things about me. They're just jealous. Who the hell is Josh Brown anyway? What if I wasn't there to save Bear Stearns and Washington Mutual? It's like people forget about those days so quickly.

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Tagged jamie dimon, jealous, josh brown, nonsense, rich, take toys and go home