Melissa Lee said his beard doesn’t look any better live! Which Kaminksy tries to brush off. How much longer is he going to let it grow? Someone on Twitter called him a financial Ewok. In the end this just could all be for charity. Let’s hope so.

It’s not like he’s Ben Bernanke or something. Bernanke’s the only one who can pull off the beard. Here’s the before and after shot of Kaminsky with and without the beard. He looks about twenty years older with the beard.

Oh yeah, I had another zinger, when I was asked about the dissension at the federal reserve meetings, all 18 of us sitting around a table. I said, “If there are two people that agree on a committee, then one of them is redundant.” Zing. Take that Seinfeld.

See ya kids. I’m off to trim my beautiful beard. I know you wish you had one. I’ll say it gain, my face will be on a coin when this is all said and done.

And before I forget, Mitt Romney and Rick Perry can’t eat it. Who do they think they are saying I should be removed from my position. Do they realize we were on the verge of a Great Depression a few years ago. The world on the verge of failing apart? How quickly they forget. How easily they make those comments so far removed from the situation I was in. Don’t get me started with Perry’s, “We would treat him pretty ugly down in Texas” crap.

Looking more like a struggling artist and less and less like Abe Lincoln as the years go by. I’m thinking he’ll quit before then though and go back to teaching. Will be looked upon as someone who saved the financial system? Time will tell.

Hat tip to http://twitter.com/#!/williambanzai7 for the image.

Benny Bernanke is bored as hell as he listens to Commodity Futures Trading Commission Chairman Gary Gensler.

Bernanke: “This guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

Looking up, Benny ponders what he’s going to have for dinner and when he’s going to have time to watch all of the Breaking Bad episodes from season three so he can watch season 4 as it airs on TV with his wife. “What would Wall Street think if I suddenly got cancer and shaved my head and beard off? I might finally get some respect. Jamie Dimon wouldn’t think of trying to make me look bad, question me.”

And it again reflects upon why he took this job and if he’ll be in the history books as the man who saved the financial system from falling into another Great Depression. “I God damn should be. People don’t realize how close we were to falling apart completely.”

“I should be on a coin god damn it when this is all over,” he says a bit too loudly to himself.

Tim Geithner eavesdrops and hears this and this reaffirms his belief that Bernanke is on the verge of losing it if this debit limit stuff isn’t worked out soon. Just a few weeks ago Geithner caught Bernanke talking into his beard, or that’s what it looked like. He doesn’t think Bernanke can maintain his cool demeanor much longer.

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The beard is back in focus. Yes, I’m the center of attention as it should be once again. Everyone hanging on my every word. What will he say? Will there be more stimulus? Will I keep rates low? Don’t mess with the beard if you know what’s good for you.

And no, these are the choices made and decided upon by me, Bernanke’s beard. The man they call Ben Bernanke would be nothing with out might white soft fluffiness. No gravitas. No grace. No honor.

Would you respect Bernanke if he showed up next week with me gone, shaved off? I didn’t think so. I put the smile on Bernanke’s face. This is the smile of someone who knows he’s right. The smile of satisfaction. The House Financial Services Committee looks upon for the solutions to the United States economy. What’s more, the world looks upon for solutions. I’m the Wizard of Oz.

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Carney’s beard is starting to make more TV appearances and gaining attention not just on CNBC but on Twitter, too. I don’t know if Mr. Carney knows what he’s getting into by growing this beard. He’s crossing a line. Everyone on the street knows you don’t try to grow a beard that will upstage Bernanke’s beard.

It’s fine for Hollywood types to grow beards when they’re going through a crisis, as Conan O’Brien did, or if it just fits your personality, like Zach Galifianakis’s homeless man beard does. But on Wall Street, the only one with a true beard is supposed to be the Fed Chairman, Ben Bernanke. It’s his zone. It’s his domain. It’s his power.

Mr. Carney, some advice, shave it off before it’s too late. Even if you’re just a Wall Street media player, don’t get into the beard battle with Bernanke, you’ll lose. Your exit plan should be quick and smooth.

Some of the tweets that are flying around about Carney’s beard:

@MandyCNBC Amanda Drury
Or Abe Lincoln RT @carney: Off camera, @MandyCNBC to me: “Does the beard mean you are trying out to be the next Fed chairman?”

@carney John Carney
My beard has an exit plan. RT: “@MarketSqueeze: @carney Ben Bernanke’s beard might be pissed you were on TV so much.”

@ComfortablySmug ComfortablySmug
New indicator- @carney ‘s beard seems to indicate downgrades in portuguese debt as well as warmer summers AIG quants already on the case.

@carney John Carney
The beard is outperforming expectations. On air 3 times, 3 different subjects today!

@coffeygrinds Andrew Coffey
@carney once grew a scruffy George Micheal beard just to make sure that CNBC had the most interesting man alive

Need a look at Carney’s beard, here he talks about tax hikes for hedge funds on CNBC on the Fast Money halftime report:

Don’t mess with me, we are just coming off the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression, remember, you idiots. What the hell did you expect? Sure, I want growth and employment, who the hell doesn’t, but this takes time.

While I have done some amazing things, made some tough and decisive actions, I’m not Jesus. I can only helicopter in so much money. History though will look back on my time as Federal Chairman and see what an amazing job I did despite the stupidity of Congress and the entire government at times, the Presidents included.

However, when it’s all said and done, they will put my face on a coin like Abe Lincoln. My white beard is like nothing the financial world has ever seen. The Chinese bow to it when they see me. Beards are a sign of wisdom and strength in the Chinese culture. I will get some respect before this is all over.

I’ve had to stoop down to doing these stupid press conferences, and while my beard loves the limelight and the attention, it’s something I don’t need. I know my work will be recognized when this is all over in a few years. Guys like Jamie Dimon think they’re smarter than me. He is not. His good looks can’t make me bend over backwards for him. He already got a steal of a deal on Bear Stearns, we suckered him though into taking over Washington Mutual.

I’m tired of asking dumb question by the likes of Steve Liesman and the like. Then there’s old man Alan Greenspan, trying to step into the spotlight once again with his old man ideas. Stay out old man. Don’t be jealous. I know I’ll be on a coin one day and you want. Worship the beard.

By Ben Bernanke’s Beard

I’ve heard you’re thinking of shaving me off, Ben, do you realize how absurd that is? You are the only person in the whole of Wall Street with a beard like this, all white, as soft and as cool as the underside of a pillow. I’m telling you, if you shave me off it will bring down the stock market like the world has never seen before.

The Great Depression, which you studied and think yourself such an expert on, will look like a tiny little recession in comparison. The crash of 2008 will look like nothing. Subprime mortgages, credit default swaps, AIG, Bear Stearns, Lehman, those will pale in comparison to shaving me off. If you think the concern over Greece or Portugal or Spain defaulting on their debt and bringing down the European Union is something to worry about, wait until you put that razor to your skin and try to shave me off. Just try it!

It will be the domino that breaks the camels back. People will think you’ve lost it. It’s not the thing to do when the market is on edge like this. You know since you grew me out, since you stopped shaving years ago and just trimmed me up nice and sweetly, your life has turned around. Do you think you would have become the Chairman of the Federal Reserve of the United States with cleaned shaved look? And know you’re superstitious, don’t mess with a good thing. I know Tim Geithner said he was going to grow a beard. He won’t though. I’ve spoken to him. It won’t happen.

What do you think Jamie Dimon will say if you shave your beard? He’ll laugh at you. He will. You won’t get as much respect if you’re beardless. Trust me. The bankers will look on you as weak. Frail even.

And I’ve told you the story of Abe Lincoln, how he wouldn’t have become President of the United States if he didn’t let his whiskers grow, right? The beard gave his gaunt face some strength, power, and elegance. You want to end up on a coin don’t you…

Remember when your little grandson thought your beard was cotton candy and tried to take a bit. Yeah, we’ve shared some good times and laughs together. Don’t forget about the memories we’ve made not only in the financial world but at home.

Think of all the time we’ve spent together. Think of all we’ve been through. Think about the care you’ve shown to me, the gentle trimming and shaving below the chin and next. No cuts just smooth and steady like your policies. You are willing to let all of that go. I don’t think so. It’s not in you. Actually, you couldn’t do and you won’t.

I don’t want to bring it up again, since I know it scares you, but I’ll remind you of 2001: A Space Odyssey, the HAL 9000. Don’t even try to cut a white whisker off your face. I can hear your thoughts.