Killer Whale Responds to Blackfish Oscar Snub

Jan 16, 2014
J. Webster
Comments Off on Killer Whale Responds to Blackfish Oscar Snub

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A killer whale held captive at SeaWorld had this to say about the Oscar snub and SeaWorld’s stock rise today:

“Well, really, we’re not surprised. But it’s just really sad. It’s a clusterf#ck if I can speak frankly, but we were prepared for disappointment. The Blackfish documentary about us just wasn’t promoted enough to the right people. Heck, even Robert Redford was snubbed by the Oscars.”

“However, this is our life, this isn’t some movie. This is real. We live in these small tanks that just don’t fit us and can’t swim out in the open ocean like we’re used to. I dream about the deep and wide open OCEAN. And SeaWorld takes our motherf$cking children away from us and use them to start new “theme” water parks. Do they think we’re faking it with our fins turned down? We’re depressed and want the hell out of here. All I can say is there better be some protesters at the Oscars.”

“And yeah, I saw the stock soar over 8% today on the news that Blackfish was snubbed. But while the executives are overjoyed, we don’t get a cut of all that money, maybe a few extra pieces of fish. How about a bigger tank or let us go? And no, the IPO for SeaWorld didn’t help us, we’re still here motherf$cker. WE’RE STILL F$CKING IN THESE GOT DAMN TANKS.”

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Image source at the top is from Vulture, make sure to read their review of Blackfish.

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