Demi Moore Says She’s Been Buying Stocks, Too

Mar 17, 2013
J. Webster
Comments Off on Demi Moore Says She’s Been Buying Stocks, Too

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In a fit of rage, Demi Moore says she’s been buying stocks too, way before Mila Kunis.

Not wanting to be out done by Ashton Kutcher’s new girlfriend, who received a lot of attention this past week when she told CNBC she was buying stocks, Moore made clear she knows a thing or two about investing in stocks herself.

“I don’t know if Mila Kunis knows this or not, but I was married to Ashton Kutcher for over 7 years,” Moore said between Red Bull gulps. And so, like, yeah, he gave me some stock tips too. So yeah, I know all about those up and coming South By Southwest start-up companies to buy – Foursquare, Path, Flipboard, Twitter, Airbnb. So yeah, I knew about Facebook before you even heard of it. So yeah, I bought Apple when it was like $200 a share.”

What’s more, Demi Moore says she might just take the other side of some of the trades that she believes Kunis is making. While scanning her Bloomberg terminal and between Red Bull gulps, Moore said, “While Kunis says she’s buying stocks now, when the stock market has been on a run to new highs, I laughed my ass off. I’ve been investing for years and think it’s time to take some off the table. I’m actually thinking of shorting some of the Internet stocks that Ashton told me about, and which I believe Mila is probably buying, since she’ll do whatever Ashton tells her to do.”

“And maybe this little Mila doesn’t remember a movie I was in called Margin Call. Yeah, I learned a lot about the stock market and the financial collapse in that movie. Too big to fail. Ben Bernanke. Tim Geithner. Hank Paulson. Jaime Dimon. I know all those guys. I bet you Kunis doesn’t know any of them. I BET YOU LITTLE MISS KUNIS doesn’t even know what a MARGIN CALL means.”

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Moore finished the rest of the Red Bull she was drinking and her rant with this, “Mila Kunis probably doesn’t even know what a short squeeze is. Well, she’s going to find out.”

If you thought the CNBC hedge fund fight between Bill Ackman and Carl Icahn was worth watching, wait until the Kunis versus Moore battle this next week. Yeah, get ready to lean in for a cat fight.

(And yeah, this is all a bit of nonsense. However, I sure would like to see Kunis and Moore battle it out on CNBC over some stock.)

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