Analysts Now Have New Terminology for Rating Stocks

Jun 6, 2012
J. Webster
Comments Off on Analysts Now Have New Terminology for Rating Stocks

Everyday, analysts from Bank of America to Barclay’s Capital to Bear Stearns (oops, Bear no longer exists), make stock upgrades and downgrades. These downgrades or upgrades or better stated, stock recommendations, fall into a few categories: from a simple BUY to a NEUTRAL to an OVER WEIGHT to a STRONG BUY.

Once in a bloom moon you’ll see a SELL rating, but that’s extremely rare. This language has become stale, though. It’s a bit boring and ineffectual. However, refreshingly, going forward, analysts will now use some new terminology in their stock ratings that investors might glean more insight from. Here’s a list of some of the options analysts now have when they give their opinion on a stock:

  • No idea
  • You’re guess is as good as mine
  • Upside surprise
  • Downside surprise
  • Prepare to get whacked upside the head when this stock announces earnings
  • Good luck with this stock
  • Ponzi
  • Warren Buffett’s rubber ducky
  • Booyah
  • Maddoffesque
  • Like
  • Hate
  • Love
  • Want to sleep with this stock it’s looking so good
  • Gaga
  • Prepare for short squeeze
  • Squeezy
  • Squirmy
  • Squeamish
  • Wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole
  • Back up the truck
  • Long term hate
  • Long term dream
  • Hedge
  • Pickem
  • Cramer fave
  • The stock is like something out of one of those DirectTV commercials: where you sell your hair to a wig shop, get beat up for wearing an eye patch, and your house blows up cause you saw a dead body being shoved into the trunk of a car.
  • Has potential to be just like Apple
  • The next Facebook
  • Reserve the right to downgrade the stock after it’s down over 50% and upgrade the stock after it rises 50%.
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