I’m tired of everyone ganging up on me. It’s not fair. What did I do wrong? And I thought they weren’t letting any journalist into this investors conference, it was only for the truly rich.
Just because I built up the best bank in the world, and stand up for it when poor people attack it, people write and say bad things about me. They’re just jealous. Who the hell is Josh Brown anyway?
What if I wasn’t there to save Bear Stearns and Washington Mutual? It’s like people forget about those days so quickly. Do they remember what a nightmare of a time that was? Hank Paulson calling me at home at all hours of the night while I was trying to sleep. It was painful. It was stressful. Do you think my hair was always gray?
And come on, those silly, smelly Occupy Wall Street protesters think it’s bad now with no job opportunities and this vast wealth disparity right now. Well, if it wasn’t for JP Morgan we’d be looking at some Grapes of Wrath and Dickens type sh$t. Yes, we would have fallen into another Great Depression if I wasn’t there to prop up those failing banks.
I just don’t give a damn anymore. I deserve what I’ve earned. I’ve worked hard for it. What if I just took all my money and went home? The TARP money, no we didn’t need it. We just took the $25 billion because they made us.
And we paid them back and more, as in $795,138,889 in dividends on the interest they earned for the loan we didn’t need. Yeah, they made money off us taking money we didn’t even want or need. Is that fair? Oh yeah, then I hear about how this 0% interest rate let’s us buy U.S. treasuries and earn 2-3%. Let me tell you something: if all these are banks didn’t make all these sub prime loans we’d never be in this situation. We didn’t get into all that stupid bullsh$t.
Mama, can we play monopoly again? Can we play with real money like we did when I was a kid?