Some Are Saying Charlie Gasparino Should Quit or Die Already

Sep 23, 2011
J. Webster
Comments Off on Some Are Saying Charlie Gasparino Should Quit or Die Already

Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein wished Charlie Gasparino would just quit already, now someone at Morgan Stanley has topped that one and said, “I’m going to kill him one of these days.” Him being Charlie Gasparino of course. It’s clear a number of Wall Street head honchos don’t really like dealing with the Fox Business reporter.

“Morgan Stanley will not silence me…Morgan Stanley will not silence me with death threats,” Gasparino ranted this afternoon on the business network before anchor Liz Claman cut him off.

But I’m thinking these Wall Street CEOs should try another approach: kill him with kindness instead. Treat him like a terrorist you’re trying to win over. Draw him in closer with cupcakes and candies and maybe a cold beverage at a downtown bar after the market closes.

Tell him how great he is. How he’s so inquisitive and almost like a detective he so damn good. Scream out, “Dude, how did you figure that out? You’ve got like a sixth sense for money.”

Tell him he should have been an investment banker, a trader or a hedge fund manager. Tell him he should come over to their side and stop this journalist thing – start running money. Ply him with drinks and feed him sweets and then make him feel bad about hurting your company with negative stories. And Charlie doesn’t do so will it seems with a drink or two in his belly, as was possibly the case when he worked at CNBC.

Another approach would be to just feed him false information – and then say ah we were just kidding around we weren’t really going to buy that company or hire that person. Come on Charlie, we’re buddies now, we can’t give you the inside scoop. We were just punking you. Come on man. What did you think we were doing?

Oh yeah, if that doesn’t work they could just blackmail him. You know, reverse the roles, dig up a bunch of information about Gasparino and his family and then hold it over his head if he ever tries to report or say something they don’t like on Fox Business channel. I don’t know though, with a last name like Gasparino, his family might just have ties to the mob, so I don’t know if you want to mess with him, wish he’d quit, or wished he’d die. You might end up in cement boots yourself.

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