Ben Bernanke Pre-Speech at Jackson Hole

Aug 26, 2011
J. Webster
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Reuters Pictures

I can do this. I can do this.

You’ll do fine, just relax. I believe in you. Eat your oatmeal now, ok. I love you.

The whole damn world is going to parse every fu#@#$# word I say.

It’s ok, remember, you have done so much the past two years. You’ve been through this before. You know what you have to do.

Alright, I got this. I’m getting pumped up now.

Where’s Jamie Dimon now? He just wishes he could get this kind of attention. The whole wide world is waiting on my every word. See how all these people turn and stare at us and take our picture – we’re just walking through the hall and they all stop.

I will be on the face of a coin. Yes, just wait, fifty years from now they’ll look back and see how I saved the world from a second Great Depression. Just wait. My beard will be more famous than Lincoln’s.

I know honey, I know know. You’ve told me this already. I think you deserve to be on the face of a coin, too. You’ve earned it. You’re the smartest man I know. That’s why I married you.

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